Hellos And Goodbyes
by Marymel
Summary: Jim and Catherine talk about lost loved ones. Some spoilers for 14x01, "The Devil And D.B. Russell."


**I don't own CSI.**

**One of my personal favorite stories I've written is "Chances Lost And Found," where Brass visits Warrick's grave after the events in 14x01. Since I had such a great reaction to that story, I wondered what would happen if I wrote a story like that one, this time between Catherine and Brass. Since Catherine knew Miss Kitty, a.k.a. Angela, in "Willows In The Wind," I wondered what might happen if she came back to visit Angela's grave and talked to Brass. So here's what I came up with. Pretty please read and review.**

**And more Jackson stories are on the way.**

It was a chilly winter day, and all Jim Brass wanted was to leave his phone and office behind. He told his friend D.B. Russell that he'd be away for an hour or so, and drove to the cemetery to visit Warrick Brown's grave.

He'd shut off his cell phone after seeing another text from the district attorney. Yes, he was the only father Ellie ever knew, but he wondered if it was time to finally cut all ties with the daughter who'd caused so much pain. He'd always talked with Warrick about Ellie, since the CSI was always there when Jim tried to help her in Vegas. Now, Jim just wanted to tell him about everything that happened. Even though he wasn't a spiritual man, Jim liked to think Warrick was up there watching over his son and keeping an eye on his team and family.

Jim parked his car and picked up the small bouquet of flowers he'd got at a grocery store. He walked towards his friend's grave when he thought he saw a familiar woman at another grave nearby. As he got closer, his breath hitched in his throat as he realized who was visiting the cemetery.

"Catherine?"

Catherine Willows, the former team supervisor who now worked with the FBI, stood and smiled sadly at her friend and former colleague.

Jim laughed softly. "Hey. What are...what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I told mom I'd come for her birthday," Catherine explained.

His friend and former colleague looked as beautiful as ever, and it took Jim's breath away. "Well, tell her I said happy birthday."

Catherine smiled. "I will. Thanks." Brushing her hair behind her ear, she smiled sadly. "I'm, uh...I'll only ask once: how are you?"

Jim's smiled faded as he sighed and looked down at Warrick's grave. Looking at his caring friend, he replied, "Surviving."

Catherine nodded. "When Nick was training with the feds, he told me about the case. I am so sorry, Jim."

Rubbing his hand across his face, the detective sighed sadly. "I always thought..."

Sighing deeply, Catherine took Jim's hand and led him to a nearby bench. The detective looked at his friend and sighed. "I always thought I'd be called to bail her out or...ID her body."

"Jim, you did everything you could do," Catherine said, soothingly rubbing her hand on his arm. "You did more than anyone else ever would or could do."

Jim shook his head. "It never felt like enough."

"Well, like I told Lou once, it's always easier to quarterback after the fact."

Jim chuckled sadly, thinking of the case involving Jason McCann. "You know, I still can't believe you guys were dating right under our noses at PD."

Catherine smiled softly. "Yeah, well...he wanted more of a commitment. I told him I've had all the complicated relationships I can handle. But he's a good guy."

"Yeah," Jim agreed, smiling softly at Catherine. "Well...you look good. The FBI agrees with you."

"Thank you." She smiled softly. "I am sorry about Nancy, Jim."

Jim smiled softly and took Catherine's hand. "Thank you."

Catherine smiled sadly and looked to where she'd been standing. "I was just putting some flowers on Miss Kitty's...er, Angela's grave. It's not much, but I thought I should do something." She sighed deeply when she thought of the friend that saved her life.

"I remember when we found you," Jim said with a soft smile. "I knew you'd be okay, but...I still worried about you, Cath."

"Thank you," Catherine said, softly squeezing Jim's hand.

Sighing heavily, Jim said, "I'm sorry she died the way she did."

Catherine closed her eyes, thinking of her friend and other women killed at the hands of Jim's daughter. "She would do anything to protect people she loved. She believed Ellie was in trouble." Softly cupping Jim's cheek in her hand, Catherine looked into his eyes. "Ellie made her choices. Ellie killed those other women. Ellie hooked up with the Tarland brothers and _Ellie _is the one I'm mad at. You have _nothing_ to be sorry for."

A tear rolled down Jim's cheek when he thought of the daughter he tried to save but lost to her own demons. "You know, sometimes I wonder what Nancy thought...when Ellie..."

Catherine sighed sadly. "Speaking as a mother, she thought her daughter could be saved. She still loved her even though Ellie did something...so unthinkable."

"I still love her," Jim said sadly but honestly. "Sometimes I think about what she did, and I..." Jim looked away as another tear fell. "I see this little girl waiting for me to come home, not this woman who just doesn't care."

Catherine rubbed Jim's back and sighed sadly. "Jim...you did more than anyone else could, would or did do. She's the one who chose her path."

"Yeah," Jim said with a sigh. He wiped his cheek as he looked at Catherine. Looking at his beautiful friend, Jim felt waves of doubt and sadness fall off as he thought of the daughter he tried to save.

Knowing Jim would always love his daughter, Catherine supportively rubbed his arm and waited for him to look in her eyes. "I am sorry, Jim. I wish she realized you just love her..."

"Thank you," Jim said with a sad smile. No matter what happened with Ellie, Catherine, Warrick, Grissom, and the team never judged him. And Jim knew he shouldn't blame himself, but still thought of what he could have done to save her.

Sighing heavily, Jim smiled sadly at his dear friend. "Maybe someday I'll forgive myself...and Ellie."

Catherine smiled sadly, knowing Jim still carried the weight of what happened. "I know you will."

Jim smiled in relief and grief at Catherine. "Thank you." Sighing heavily, he glanced at Warrick's grave. "You know, Warrick was always there when I dealt with Ellie here, and even in LA. He always...well, I just knew things would be okay when I saw him."

A warm smile crossed Catherine's face as she thought of her late friend. "Yeah. I came out here just before I left and talked to him. Couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

Jim nodded. "He'd be proud of you."

Catherine smiled softly. "He'd be proud of you, too."

Sighing softly, Jim nodded. "I am sorry about Angela."

Catherine sighed. "She was always there if I needed help. I can't help but think...what if I'd been here? What if I'd been involved..."

"Cath..." Jim said as he took her hand. "I didn't see it coming until it was too late. I know she just worried about Ellie and the others. Maybe...maybe she and Nancy are up there comforting each other."

Catherine smiled softly. "I never thought you were spiritual."

Jim chuckled and smiled sadly. "I've never been, but...I guess I just want to know there's something...good."

Sighing softly, Catherine hugged her good friend. Knowing he'd lost so much because of hatred and anger, Catherine wanted to believe there was still some good in the world almost as strongly as he did. When she pulled away, she was surprised to see Jim smiling softly. "What?"

"Just got this picture in my head of Angela, Nancy and Warrick sharing a cup of coffee together, talking about us." Jim couldn't help but smile at the image.

"Well," Catherine said with a soft laugh, "Maybe they are. Maybe they think we should have a cup of coffee...my treat."

Jim smiled. Coffee with his beautiful friend sounded perfect. "Deal." They stood and walked away arm-in-arm, thinking of the friends and loves they'd lost. Both believed that something good was possible, no matter what was thrown in their paths or how long the wait.

**The End.**


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